we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
