You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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