"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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