# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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