he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
