420 ftw
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
