Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
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I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
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Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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