if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
