**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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