I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize