I wish you could order shots online.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
