I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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