You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
