Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
