Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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