Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
