Your dad touched me again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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