when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
