youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
