In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
