There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
