i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
