I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
