There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
