yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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