Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
