Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
