I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
