Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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