You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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