You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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