I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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