O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
