Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
