i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
