that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
