let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize