And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That accounts for only three of the penises
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
