I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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