idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i think my cat just said my name.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
