debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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