I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
