We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
