I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We got so high we made milksteak
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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