i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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