The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
