Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
