Its about making memories worth repressing
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
