Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
