Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
