fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
