yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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