Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just pynch a tree in the face
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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