my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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