Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is the high leading the old right now
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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