Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
