it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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